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Simon Pemberton of London Phoenix came out of retirement last week to tackle the Grand Raid Cristalp, an immense 5,430m ascent mountain bike race from Verbier to Grimentz comprising vertical scree, 1,500m descents and far too much time (in Simons case) carrying your bike over crazy rocky terrain.

A time of 10:45 places him 303 from the 5000 starters and 83rd in his category.

Rumours that he was just popping out to the shops and got a little confused and lost are unconfirmed.

Congratulations Simon!